The Jeremiah Lasater tragedy
Teen's plight occurred in plain sight 10/23/2008 08:34:52 PM PDT
In the aftermath of suicide, it's normal for friends, loved ones and even acquaintances to wonder if there was something - anything - they could have done to stop this final, fatal act. And surely many are scouring their memories for clues that Jeremiah Lasater, the 14-year-old Acton boy who loved to play football, was about to take a final, irrevocable step to end the bullying he was getting at school.
On Monday, the freshman at Vasquez High School brought a gun to school, and then used it to kill himself in a restroom. Understandably, the community of Acton is shocked and upset and looking for someone to blame. Finding a scapegoat might make people feel better, but it won't bring back Jeremiah - and it won't necessarily stop this from happening to another student.
Parents and school officials in Acton must know that one person didn't fail Jeremiah. It was all of us. And what must change is our collective tolerance of incivility, inside and outside the classroom, that makes the torment of one young boy unremarkable enough for anyone to notice. It was no secret that Jeremiah was picked on. The quiet teenager was terrorized at school for years, called names, physically attacked. Students reported that classmates threw food at him in the cafeteria, pelted him with rocks and insulted him in the classroom. In the wake of the shooting, school officials said they had no idea that Jeremiah was suffering, that they had no warning signs.
That this was out of the blue. Hogwash. To be sure, it appears that Jeremiah kept his troubles to himself, not complaining to authorities - as far as we know. But it's hard to believe that in such a small school no one noticed the torment of a teen who was considered different. In fact, a teaching assistant and high school senior did report that he witnessed harassment right in the classroom.
Indeed, it's more likely that Jeremiah's plight was known to many.
Could they imagine it would end this tragically? Probably not. But that he was tormented under the eyes of hundreds of students and teachers and school employees indicates that our children are not as safe as we imagine. Acton-Agua Dulce School District officials said that the district has a zero-tolerance policy for bullying, and that teachers were trained to recognize it. Apparently that policy and training aren't thorough enough, if a 6-foot-5-inch student who had been relentlessly bullied for years could escape their notice.
On the back of a school notice regarding the suicide, someone wrote, "Jeremiah, now you are safe in the arms of God. Let us learn from losing you."
Yes, let's do that. We can learn that individual instances of intolerance and name-calling are not acceptable - ever - in a school. We can't legislate civility, especially among teenagers. But we can and should model right and wrong behavior for our youngsters in our schools. And we can never again allow a young man to be bullied to death in school